I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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