Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
