While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Randomize
