we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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