ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
