So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
