i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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