dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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