He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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