R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Randomize
