@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
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