hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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