i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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