Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
me + whiskey = a bad person
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
