If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
