You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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