Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize