We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
