i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
