Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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