Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
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