Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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