brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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