when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize