I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize