Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
This can only be settled by a dance off.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
