what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
