For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
