He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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