Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Randomize
