my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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