Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
