so that wasnt chicken after all
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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