I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize