i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
you would pick up someone in the library
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize