so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
there is glitter all over my balls
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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