in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Dicks are not precious.
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