I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Enjoy the penises
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize