She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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