I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Someone shattered a urinal.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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