And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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