This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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