He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
