There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
She just used a chaser for red wine.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
