1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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