My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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