overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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