Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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