I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
