just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
