We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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