I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
