the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
