Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
