Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
