Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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