i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
