i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I think a kid would responsible me up
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
