Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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